THE APOCALYPSE
IS NO PICNIC.
Fifty recipes including Guac and Load Guacamole, Survivalist Hero, and
Sweet-ish Fleshballs
will have you snacking
like your life depended on it.
Semiautomatic
Garlic-Parmesan
Popcorn
Serves 8

4 ripe avocados
½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
2 garlic cloves, minced
½ teaspoon sweet paprika
½ teaspoon salt, plus more to taste
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup popcorn kernels
¾ cup grated Parmesan cheese

1In a small saucepot over medium heat, melt the butter with the garlic, paprika, and salt. Cook for 1 minute, until the garlic is fragrant. Remove from heat.
2 In a stock or pasta pot with a tight-fitting cover, over medium-high heat, add the olive oil and let heat for 30 seconds. Add the popcorn. When you begin to hear the kernels popping, shake the pan. Continue shaking the pan frequently to avoid burning. When the popping slows, remove from the heat and transfer to a large bowl. Drizzle with the garlic butter and Parmesan cheese. Toss to combine, adjust seasonings as needed, and enjoy.
A savory treat for your downtime. Defends you from hunger till help arrives in the form of dinner.

ProTip:Scout your area before popping. Walkers are attracted to sound.


Guac and Load
Guacamole
Serves 6

4 ripe avocado, halved and pitted
¾ teaspoon salt, or more to taste
Juice of ½ lime, or more to taste
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
1 scallion, white and green parts, minced
1 jalapeno pepper, seeds and veins
removed, minced
Few drops hot sauce, optional
Corn chips, for serving

Using a spoon, scoop the avocado flesh into a bowl. Add the remaining ingredients and smash forcefully with a fork, leaving the mixture a little chunky. Taste and correct seasonings, adding more salt and/or lime juice as needed. Serve with chips.
Take out the stress of the apocalypse on some avocado flesh for a change.

ProTip: A vegetable-based diet looks better and better once you think about why the living dead find you so irresistible.


Lil’ Ass-Kicker
Punch
Makes 26 cups

1½ quarts sweet tea
(DIY, or any store-looted brand
such as Snapple—but not
a fruit-flavored variety)
1½ quarts lightly sweetened lemonade
(such as Newman’s Own, if you’re looting)
1½ liters seltzer
1 liter Jim Beam or Jack Daniels—anything strong and southern
¾ liter Meyer’s white rum
3 lemons, sliced (optional)
Grated nutmeg (optional)
Stir together all the liquid ingredients in a bucket filled with ice. Garnish with sliced lemons and grated nutmeg, if you can find ’em. Guaranteed to create a swarm—in a good way.
A southern concoction that kind of sneaks up before it whoops you. Strong and sweet. Not too sweet though, Sunshine.

ProTip: Nothing says “It’s the end of the world, but we feel fine” quite like a good strong punch. But make sure you have a designated lookout.


Sweet-Ish Fleshballs
with Red Berries
Makes about 36 meatballs

3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 garlic clove, finely chopped
½ onion, finely chopped
1 pound ground pork
½ cup bread crumbs
½ cup heavy cream
1 large egg
¼ teaspoon ground allspice
Coarse kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 cup beef or chicken stock, warm
2 tablespoons sour cream
3 tablespoons finely chopped fresh parsley
¼ cup lingonberry preserves (or red currant or sour cherry preserves)
1 Preheat the oven to 425°F.
2 In a medium skillet set over medium heat melt 1 tablespoon of the butter. Add the garlic and onion and sauté until softened, about 8 minutes. Transfer the onion mixture to a large bowl. Mix in the pork, bread crumbs, ¼ cup cream, egg, and allspice. Season with salt and pepper. Use lightly dampened hands to roll the meat mixture into 1 tablespoon balls and transfer to a rimmed baking sheet. Bake until the meatballs are golden brown and cooked through, 12 to 15 minutes.
3 in a large saucepan set over medium heat melt 2 tablespoons of the butter. Whisk in the flour until a smooth paste forms. Gradually whisk in the remaining ¼ cup cream and the stock. Bring the mixture to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer until the sauce thickens slightly, 3 to 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper and whisk in the sour cream. Add the meatballs to the sauce and stir to coat. Divide among serving plates, sprinkle with parsley, and serve with lingonberry preserves.
A dish for everyone around the table, Fleshballs will satisfy that bottomless craving for succulent meat. The berries add an evocative splash of red.

ProTip: Don’t think too deeply about this one.